. She was unwell, anxious, not eating or sleeping properly, and, as Edwards says, an “unhappy child”.
“We went from having a child who left school unable to read to now having a kid who is talking about going to university,” says Edwards, who lives in Wānaka. “It’s just like there’s a spark back in her again that was really lost for quite a few years.”
Edwards isn’t sure how Willow’s fascination with ancient Egypt began, only that one day the online shopping cart was full of artefacts and souvenirs.
“She always is thinking and wanting to understand things… we just started getting books out of the library and reading things. I just asked on that [Facebook] page, ‘did anyone have any links or any recommendations?’ Because that was becoming quite a strong interest for her.”
That’s when Vidler was recommended. She now offers Willow free one‑hour weekly lessons, embracing her self‑directed learning style. With PDA, even encouragement can feel like a demand, so lessons are relaxed: Willow might be swinging, doodling, or fidgeting, and there are no tests or required answers, Edwards says.
“Sarah’s been pivotal in Willow’s recovery and also Willow’s self-esteem and knowing she can do things and she can learn and that there’s a meaning behind learning… She didn’t have that previously, so it’s been pretty incredible to watch and really healing as well for all of us.”
After each session, Willow gives a small smile and then recites the entire lesson during the car ride home – a reassurance to her parents she’s still enjoying this.
This kind of joy is exactly what Wellington writer Emily Writes hoped to foster when she created the Facebook group. Her autistic 11‑year‑old son, Ronnie, has delved into various special interests – humming happily, exploring every detail, building spreadsheets of measurements – before moving on to the next topic.
Emily Writes created Special Interests Aotearoa Facebook group to help parents of neurodiverse children with dedicated interests freely exchange resources and items.
Supplied
But after he’d collected everything on the Titanic, even buying the DVD despite not owning a player, and built a small replica of the ship, Writes felt it was a shame to throw it all away.
“I didn’t feel right selling it because I was like I know there will be another kid somewhere who loves Titanic but can’t afford to buy Titanic stuff. So I thought wouldn’t it be great if we know [when] kids finish a special interest, we could pass it on to another kid who’s just starting that special interest.”
Dunedin parent Miriama Harman joined the group early on for her daughters, now 12 and five. The youngest, Lillie, has several containers of buttons; the eldest received aviation magazines. Harman has passed on cassette tapes to a boy who saved up for a Walkman and mailed 80s and 90s roadmaps to another child.
These gifted beanies for Ngaika, 12, and Lillie, 5, are their favourite winter hats, their mother, Miriama Harman, says.
Supplied / Miriama Harman
Special interests have helped her connect with her eldest, she says.
“Learning about what she loves and how she sees the world… and being able to have a teeny tiny part of that [makes her feel closer].”
Copies of old aviation magazines gifted to Miriama Harman’s daughter who loves the idea of flying and becoming a pilot.
Supplied / Miriama Harman
Writes says the group supports families navigating both neurodiversity and the cost‑of‑living crisis, while also educating neurotypical people and building community.
“My son doesn’t like anybody coming over to the house… You can feel quite lonely and often your child feels really lonely too…
“I think this community is creating friendships with kids who really, really need friendships but also with adults who really need somebody who just gets it.”
Like when Ronnie loved the original 1980s The Baby-sitter’s Club books, people dug through garages to send him their copies. For his birthday, dog owners brought their pets so he could measure and photograph different breeds.
“When people do stuff like this, it’s saying to a child, you belong, you’re valued, you are loved by your community.”
Writes hopes the group continues to grow offline and challenge stereotypes about autistic children.
“Every autistic child is different,” she says. “Talk to a child about these special interests, meet them where they are, and you’ll see that maybe the things that you thought – that society’s made you believe about autistic people – is very, very wrong.”
