Source: Human Rights Commission
Amanda Ashley’s legacy is a formidable gift to Aotearoa New Zealand’s vibrant rainbow whānau. Among other work, she launched the petition to ban conversion practices (efforts to change or suppress a rainbow person’s sexuality or gender). In doing so she started a movement that is now embodied in Te Kāhui Tika Tangata, the Human Rights Commission’s new conversion practices prevention, survivor support and civil redress service.
Last week TVNZ aired a new documentary, Beyond Conversion, chronicling Ashley’s work, and that of other survivors and Members of Parliament that joined the cause. The film is compelling and shocking viewing as it recounts the havoc conversion practices wreak on rainbow New Zealanders, including takatāpui Māori and MVPFAFF+ Pasifika people. The chilling homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still perpetuated on our communities is a reminder there are bridges of understanding and healing we as a society are yet to build.
In passing the February 2022 law that bans conversion practices, Parliament did not intend to interfere with a parent’s right to talk to their child about what they believe or curtail general expressions of religious beliefs, such as sermons. So what did Parliament ban?
In Aotearoa today, conversion practices are unlikely to be of the electroshock variety as they once were. They include any practice, sustained effort or treatment directed at an individual such as praying over someone, or coaching them through ‘spiritual healing’ or other material, with the intent of changing or suppressing who they are. It’s also standing in the way of trans and non-binary people experiencing positive exploration of their gender. Counselling, church small groups, mentoring, cultural rituals and forced or refused medical care may also be conversion practices.
Most insidious are things a person is coached to do to themselves. Intensive self-reprogramming through reading, following through workbooks and deliberate negative self-responses to thoughts about identity and sexuality are common. Some survivors also tell us they have been convinced to do physical harm rituals on themselves. When you’ve played a part in damaging your own self, shame is magnified.
Years or even decades of being told that who you are is inherently defective causes deep psychological harm. These harms are mirrored in the impact colonisation has had on Māori, Pacific Peoples and ethnic communities, including how colonisation has erased some of their identities.
Research in developmental neuroscience tells us belonging, affirmation and a secure sense of identity are keys to wellbeing and resilience. People experiencing conversion practices are made to feel like unwelcome outcasts. While cisgender and heterosexual people are rightly applauded and celebrated through key life events and as they discover their identity, people vulnerable to conversion practices are forced to hide, project an identity and wear masks that are inauthentic. Instead of affirmation, they learn that who they are brings shame on those around them. In colonised cultures these identity issues can be compounded.
While tiptoeing through important developmental stages and into adulthood, they find no safe space to figure out who they are, or what brings them joy. The resulting absence of wellbeing commonly leads to prolonged depression and suicidality.
So what can be done?
First, understanding and compassion must be fostered between opposing sides. Beyond Conversion artfully depicts survivor stories – a most effective tool for building empathy and seeing the other side of any issue. More stories must be shared, and humbly heard.
Second, we can highlight common ground. At the core of all Abrahamic religions is a message of love. Medical and psychological disciplines sign up to first do no harm. Under our different layers of belief, identity and culture we are all fallible humans doing our best in a challenging world. We all know suffering when we see it, and no one wants that for another person, no matter what their belief system. We have an opportunity to join hands based on our common ground.
Third, we can stop sensationalising and polarising discourse around conversion practices and acknowledge Parliament’s intent not to criminalise parents or religious teachers, but to stop the lifelong harms the practices create.
Fourth, we can support people to ask for help. Shame stops survivors reaching out. This is compounded by fear of the rejection all too commonly tied to coming out. Equally, if you’re unsure whether you are potentially performing conversion practices or want to know what you might need to change to become compliant with the new law, the Commission is here to help.
The Ministry of Social Development’s October 2022 Youth Health and Wellbeing Survey report indicates 20% of young people have diverse gender or sexuality. As we become an ever richer and more diverse Aotearoa, these simple actions can create a safer and more peaceful society for everyone. That’s a legacy I’d very much like to build for my children, and for yours.
Matt Langworthy (he/him) is a survivor of 20 years of conversion practices. He manages the Human Rights Commission’s Conversion Practices Response Service. They can be reached at [email protected] or on 0800 496 877.
