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In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, dating apps get busier . So how can we stay safe from romance scammers?
Anatomy of a romance scam
Romance scams rely on a small number of psychological levers, applied repeatedly. Finding their victims online through various platforms, romance scammers accelerate intimacy, often expressing strong feelings unusually early. Then, they isolate their target.
Often, the entire romance scam quite literally follows a script and plays out like this.
First, the “dating” profile of the scammer appears highly credible. Scammers use attractive photos – increasingly AI-generated or stolen – paired with plausible personal details and consistent messaging.
Second, the scammer pushes to move the conversation off the app. WhatsApp, Telegram or text messages are pitched as more convenient or more private. This shift is key. Once the victim has been persuaded to move the communications off the dating app, they lose access to built-in safety features that could help to protect them. If they’re using their real email address or phone number, this also potentially exposes more of their personal details to the scammer.
Third comes the financial request. The scammer may cite a believable excuse – travel problems, banking issues, family emergencies. But it’s not always an urgent plea for help . Many scams now evolve into investment fraud, where victims are steered into fake profit-making opportunities, often involving cryptocurrency .
Victims may be encouraged to invest “together” or are shown screenshots of supposed past profits. Because the scam is framed as a shared future rather than a request for cash, it can go unrecognised.
It’s harder to tell who’s a real person
Treat investment advice or requests for money as a bright-red flag.
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AI strengthens these tactics by making the scams much easier to scale up. Automated tools allow scammers to maintain frequent, emotionally warm conversations across multiple victims with minimal effort.
For years, video calls functioned as an informal identity check. If you could see someone talk and respond in real time, you would feel confident you were talking to a real person.
Now, generative AI-powered deepfakes – artificial video or audio designed to imitate a person – are increasingly accessible for scammers to use.
A simple face-swapping or voice-cloning tool can be persuasive over a short call. The scammer only needs enough plausibility to move a conversation past doubt. When the victim is already emotionally invested , they ignore red flags more easily.
How can you stay safe online?
While AI makes romance scams more convincing, effective defences do exist .
You can still date online safely – as long as you stay vigilant and follow some easy steps to verify the people you engage with.
Slowing the relationship down remains one of the strongest ways of protecting yourself. I f you spend more time talking to the person, there’s a chance some inconsistencies will surface. Besides, scammers get tired quickly.
Keep conversations on the dating platform for longer. Don’t cave into early pressure to move off-platform, and treat this as a potential red flag.
Make sure you identify the person across different platforms. Use reverse-image searches, which can expose stolen or synthetic photos. A genuine person usually has a broader, consistent digital footprint beyond a single curated profile.
Treat investment advice or requests for money as a bright-red flag. This is the most important advice. If someone you have never met in person begins steering you toward cryptocurrency, trading platforms or guaranteed returns, disengage.
Never send intimate images to someone you haven’t met and verified. Financial scams can also quickly pivot to blackmail.
If you have already transferred money, acting quickly matters. Contact your bank immediately and report the incident to Scamwatch or the National Cyber Security Centre . Early reporting can reduce losses and help authorities disrupt larger networks.
Remember that romance scammers are highly skilled at appearing trustworthy, so “trusting your gut” or relying on your feelings won’t necessarily help you.
As generative AI tools proliferate, verifying what’s real online is getting harder. So take things slowly, check details in different places, and – by far the most important step – avoid anything that turns a romance into a money request, no matter how infatuated you might be.
Tony Jan is a Professor of Information Technology and Director of Artificial Intelligence Research and Optimisation (AIRO) Centre, Torrens University Australia.
Where to get help
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