Waving, tooting, flashing lights – what are modern road manners?

December 15, 2025

Being a good driver isn’t just about following the road rules, sometimes it’s the little things that count.

Polite gestures, like flashing your hazard lights when another driver lets you in, or a wave when they let you pass, are all part of road etiquette.

But with lives getting busier and roads more chaotic, is road etiquette dead in Aotearoa?

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The bigger the city, the less manners

Andrea Hudson toured Aotearoa as a guide for about 20 years and has driven everywhere from remote areas like Milford Sound to bigger cities.

Tourism professional Andrea Hudson has been touring the country for 20 years.

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Originally from Germany, Hudson said drivers in New Zealand were far more courteous and kinder on the road than what they had encountered in Germany.

While the general feeling was people were polite when passing and indicating in New Zealand, there were times of the year and places around the country that caused havoc.

Auckland, for example, she said, was something of an exception.

“There’s a difference between Auckland and the rest of the country, because of course Auckland has 1.8 million people and a lot of traffic,” she explained.

“I find there are more issues with drivers, that you have to be careful.”

She said chaos and congestion were usually what got in the way of nice road manners.

Johnston’s Coachlines Tour and Charter Driver Calum Grierson agreed the closer you get to a city the less etiquette you will see.

Based in Christchurch, the driver with 20-years experience, reckoned saying ‘thanks’ on the road was still a common in the South Island, but the larger cities were lacking.

“I just found that traffic wasn’t as accommodating to let me out onto the street,” he said, recalling a recent trip to Auckland.

“They’re too busy getting to where they have to go and they won’t necessarily be as polite as they are in the South Island.”

He said impatience on the road meant a spike in aggression and risky behaviour like passing manoeuvres and overtaking before blind bends.

This was noticeable in areas with more open roads and high speeds where visitors may also be unfamiliar with the roads.

Holiday times are the ‘silly season’

Hudson said busy periods like summer months and Christmas holidays were times when etiquette was most likely to fly out the window.

“Christmas time, the silly season here in Auckland, and car parks or shopping malls are a bit harder to get, and there is not as much courtesy,” she said.

“When people are occupied with where they’re going, and they are stopping, … without indicating… that happens, but that happens everywhere, especially with tourists.”

The tourism spike of summer meant potentially poor etiquette for the whole country, not just bigger cities.

Andrea Hudson at Mt Tutoko Glacier near Milford Sound.

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International tourists may not know the country’s roads let alone the unspoken rules, Hudson said, so she exercised extra caution during peak times.

“You have to be very careful as well, because even if there is no traffic, things can happen … I’ve had camper vans coming towards me on the wrong side of the road.”

Truck driver and owner of Lilvurn Transport, Robbie Lilvurn said most drivers are doing a good job but it’s a few that seem to ruin it for everyone.

Lilvurn said during holiday times, not only are there more drivers on the road, most are in a hurry to reach their destination.

“Long weekends is probably the worst time,” he said.

“That’s probably the biggest part in the busier times of roadworks, especially during summer, where we do get people start to make more silly decisions to pass in silly places.”

Is etiquette important on the road?

Grierson stressed the importance of being not only careful but polite on the road.

Small actions like letting someone pass or flashing hazard lights to say ‘thank you’ can help diffuse tense or awkward situations.

“If someone feels aggrieved or put out because someone has pulled out in front of them, if that person then shows appreciation by flashing their hazard lights two or three times, if that can diffuse the situation, then that person feels like, ‘oh, okay, they appreciate me’.”

– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand

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